Brain-Map your Fears Away
We are victims of chronic introspection, incurably infected with WSC (Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda) Wirus, which by all evidence doesn't seem to be too contageous.
There may be treatment, however.
Still testing phase.
- Who are these inner voices that say yea or nay
- What makes me feel proud, ashamed, anxious and why did I have to say that!
- When do tormenting voices trigger bad memories and hard feelings
- Where did life go so horribly wrong
- Why feel like a failure over stupid stuff
- How could all of the above have gone any differently
Until just a few years ago I felt constant anxiety and anguish over what mighta, coulda or shoulda been.
I believe most people could say they suffer some form of childhood trauma that affects them throughout their lives.
Some have it worse than others with violence and abandonment and forever questions of why?
Swallow, walk it off, deal, all appropriate survival plans. Control is there to protect you from smacking the boss, pinching an ass or pilfering forbidden fruit.
...all while telling ourselves we don't care,then
- Feeling guilt because we do care
- Feeling anxiety
- Don't know why
- Feeling helpless
- Resenting anxiety
- Don't know who to blame
Resort to comfort food and sanctity of habit. Repeat.
Introspection: The Super Power
We seem to have the super ability to self critique, why not develop super introspection to examine these critiques. Fair & equitible?
Work myself up into a state of anxiety over a forgotten random thought.
Stew for days with feelings of resentment and guilt, but with
- whom a mystery,
- when a vague recollection,
- where when the feelings started,
- what was seen, said, done, thought, heard
...and discover the obsession was a random inappropriate thought or visualization...
- Pope naked...
- the bosses balls....
- wondering how the president f...s.
and now facing the wrath of Control for violation of the internal rules, most of which are well guarded secrets.
Thinking All The Time
The brain's only function is to think, think all the time, nonstop 24-7.
What are the odds we think inappropriate thoughts?
Somebody's gotta be the gate keeper - a Control speciality.
Once Controlled, Always Controlled
We really must think of a more descriptive name for Control. Thoughts?
It takes a paradigm shift of the magnitude of a 2 x 4 blow to the forehead to convince Control to lower its guard long enough to hold a decent discussion and it better be important.
Monitor the Memories
Chaos, on the other hand, takes to extremes any and all thoughts, ideas, scenarios to present to the self as viable possibilities for action. No conscience what so ever.
The psyche doesn't stand a chance against a random below the belt hit memory if you don't govern the thoughts you think.
I was intrigued by the simplicity of the ERG theory (Existence, Relatedness and Growth) which prompted me to visually identify and divide my Shebrain into 3 distinct personalities.
- Existence - protector - denies self examination for our own good
- Growth - Always learning - the judge and decider
- Chaos - the unspeakable - provider of inappropriate, salacious, taudry, painful, wrong thoughts and memories
This mind map is useful as a mental guide to travel or brain-walk through those 3o'clock in the morning reoccuring, anxiety producing memories.
It occurred to us a good idea to apply rationality and reason to examine, identify and categorize our troubling, unresolved, anxiety-producing thoughts/memories.
When we feel anxiety at at 3:00a.m. the triangle of me, myself and I comes together to discuss the source of these feelings, their validity, meaningfulness, importance.
Together we work to identify and resolve the cause of the anxiety or guilt feeling.
Identify the anxiety. Animal, Vegetable or Mineral?
Does it threaten survival?
Related to an unresolved memory?
Break the issues apart. Mentally walk each thought or memories individually, one at a time, through the steps in the map and examine objectively by allowing each entity to speak.
- What is the value of the thought or memory?
- Is it a stereotype?
- Can it be updated?
- Is it necessary to keep?
- Is it worthy of keeping?
- Worthy of consideration?
What To Do With Useless Memories?
There are two places where we send unwanted, unresolvable thoughts and memories.
- If the anxiety producing memory involves loved ones, deceased relatives, pets.
Golden Palace - The Palace of Wonderfulness from which there is no return.
- Forever banned to the palace
- Where every needs or want is met
- Where love and pleasant thought reign.
- The place where even Mom and Dad can get along enough to watch over my dead pets - memories of which are also forever banned to the palace.
- Golden Palace - The Palace of Wonderfulness from which there is no return.
Black Hole - If no redeeming value and nothing possibly to care about or gain with letting it loiter like cobwebs.
- Forgive myself
- Perp-walk the bad memory into the Black Hole
- Forever banish, no possibility of return
File away into the archives, resolved conflicts worth re-pondering for nostalgia or something. It's a self-forgiving process.
Ultimate Self Forgiving
Go to a quiet, safe place where you won't be interrupted. Conjure in your mind your perfect parents. Not your real parents but parents imagined to provide you perfect unconditional love and admiration.
What gave us the idea of this psychological brain map was the Cumberback's Sherlock Mind Palace where he stores knowledge. Why not apply that same organization technique with thoughts and memories to perform a defragging of the brain to get rid of the useless, meaningless and unresolvable. Pretty sure he didn't invent the Mind Palace and the Theory of Pat might just be a well known technique...to other people.
These days once we start feeling anxious we stop everything to ask the Self to find the memory that triggered this feeling so we can examine and run it through my BrainMap. It works.
Here's the MindMap